Because I can't make the trip home for Ned's funeral the only thing that is really helping me grieve is reading the online tributes to him from his friends and family. Who knew Facebook had any real significance? It has turned into a memorial of sorts for me. A place I can go to grieve, to lay my invisible but sincere wreath of heartfelt anguish over the loss of someone I deeply love and care about.
For so many years when I was single, I could just pick up and go at the drop of a hat. It's so different being married with little babies--and a teenager about to graduate from high school. So many things to juggle and consider--and no way to make them all function appropriately without me here. I know he would understand but I still wish I could be there.
At this moment, I am so grateful for the technology that connects us to faraway places so quickly and easily. I am so grateful for the ability to keep in touch with loved ones thousands of miles from us with the touch of a button. And I am especially grateful for the life my gentle, kind, good-hearted cousin lived his whole life. He has so many wonderful friends who are devastated by his loss. It is so cathartic to read their messages to him.
Wouldn't it be nice if we could read our tributes before we go--just to know whether or not we'd made enough of a difference or contribution to the world yet? And if not, to maybe get a chance to try a little harder for awhile before we need to take off? Lol! Yah, that would be nice for sure. Luckily, in Ned's case he was always good to people and you can read it in every note written and every word said. Think I'm gonna have to work a little harder on some things to catch up to where he was. Thanks for the example, Ned. I sure love you--and I miss you already.
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