Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Wash Your Hands People, PLEASE!

Is nothing sacred? Must there be fecal matter on everything? Have you seen the new study on cut lemons for your drinks in restaurants. C'mon people please?! This is ridiculous. Wash your hands.

Honestly, someone needs to invent the Tattletale Alarm. It needs to be posted on restroom doors in restaurants and homes all over America--maybe all over the world. With all the technology out there it seems pretty simple to me. It could be a sensor on the door knob or up and down the door that detects fecal matter or other germs when you touch it; it could be a light sensor that goes off as you open the door checking your hands and skin for bacteria. Maybe its as simple as a computer registering that soap, water and hand towels were not used in the facility after the toilet flushed. It could be any number of new inventions. Go to it young minds. Save us from the filthy beasts.

Regardless of how these health infractions are detected--especially if it ends up being a restaurant employee, I say the Tattletale Alarm goes off. No Mercy. It's loud. It's embarrassing. It gives your name, your social security number, your mother's maiden name, and how old you were when you stopped wetting the bed. It sends your cell phone number to all of texting America, to the my space generation and your home address to every person who can no longer enjoy a lemon slice in their diet coke or iced tea.

Is this really what you want to have happen--or would it just be simpler to put your hands together with some antibacterial soap underneath some warm water for a minute or so? Gads. What is wrong with you?

Yes, I am honked off--in case you didn't catch it, because I know the liklihood of you changing is just no darn good. I have to either give up my lemon and lime slices or bring them from home. I guess my third option is to catch whatever you have and I just say "no thank you" to that.

Arrrgggghhh.

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