Sunday, August 2, 2009

FOR THOSE WHO ENJOY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

(OR SEVERE DISTORTIONS OF IT)

* Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

* A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

* Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

* Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

* Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

* A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

* A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

* Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

* Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

* Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

* Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

* When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

* What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away)

* She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

* If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

* With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

* When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

* You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

* Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

* Every calendar's days are numbered.

* A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.

* A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

* He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

* Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

* Acupuncture is a jab well done.
-Author unknown-